Reasons I Love My Mother

Reason #321:

She was such a micro-manager when it came the three of us kids and our driving. This is what a typical conversation sounded like when my sister Katie was driving my mom somewhere:

Mom: Katie! Stop signs aren’t there to just kind of stop at.
Katie: I stopped.
Mom: Kath-a-rine. That was a stop?
Katie: Ugh, just let me drive! I drive bad because you stress me out!
Mom: Just promise your mother you’ll stop at stop signs!
Katie: Okay, I promise.
Mom: And no texting either!
Katie: I don’t text!
Mom: Oh, you don’t text?!
Katie: Okay, I won’t text!
Mom: Katherine! You just rolled through another stop sign!
Katie: Because you were talking to me! God!
Me: Both of you are ridiculous.

The funny thing about this is that it made my mom a hilarious hypocrite. Half the time she would call me, she was illegally on the phone in her car without a headset on, because she didn’t have time for all those extra hook-ups and cords and cable thingys. So we would be talking and then I’d just hear the phone drop, I’d say “Hello?” for a couple seconds, and then she would come back on the line and say she had to throw down the phone real quick because a cop was behind her.

Sooooo many conversations with her ended with, “oops, I gotta go, I gotta go, a cop!”.