Reasons I Love My Mother

Reason #334:

Because she was really exhausted the day we took these family photos in our backyard, but you would never know by looking at them.

That isn’t to say I love her for faking feeling good, I just appreciate that she made these pictures such a priority despite how hard of a time she was having. We took them about four weeks before she passed away; she was on hospice at this point and was having a lot of hard days. She had also been planning on getting her port removed prior to these pictures, but then wasn’t able to. And even though you can’t see it in the pictures at all, I know she was extremely self-conscious about it. I can’t imagine her mindset.

We decided it would be nice to all dress casually and take the photos in the backyard under the birch trees that she loved so much. Even though she was a little tired, she took pictures with everyone: me, my sisters, my dad, her parents, her brothers and her best friends. It was hard and weird because we all knew why we wanted them, but she was great about it. Plus, she wanted us all to have those pictures too, and we all ended up having a really great, fun afternoon taking them.

I remember when I was taking my pictures alone with her, I literally did not want the photo shoot to end. I wanted just one more of her laughing with me or one more of her looking at me all sweetly. If the photographer stopped now, would I miss out on that one great, favorite picture of the two of us that I would always look at after she was gone?

But the photos turned out great! I now have hundreds of outtakes of us laughing, of my mom petting the dog, of her making all of her classic mom-faces when she wasn’t ready but they took the photo anyway. Those are THE BEST. Her mid-talking, being sarcastic, giving attitude, laughing and throwing her head back, they’re all priceless to me.

And on some days, they’re a real life-saver.