Reasons I Love My Mother

Reason #339:

Today I found out that my dog, Dono, died. A few months ago, he was diagnosed with cancer, and late last night, my dad had to put him down. I found out in the middle of work and then spent a good portion of the rest of the day in my office’s stairwell.

I’m sad for a couple of reasons. Firstly, he was a great dog; perfect, even. He was loyal and friendly and loving and great. The night my mom died, I sat in the backyard while they took her away (as I’ve written about before), and soon after lighting one of her tea lights, Dono came and laid beside me and started whimpering. I remember wondering, “What is he thinking? How does he know? What does he know?”

I’m also sad because Dono’s death just further changes what my family looks like. Pictures like the one above can no longer happen. I loved the Christmases where my mom would get him a giant bone as a present and then we would all have to hear him disgustingly slurp and gnaw on it while we while tried to open our gifts. I loved the backyard dinners my mom would make where Dono roamed around the table trying to get our food, my mom would dismiss him to the grass, and then moments later he would be right in our faces again, begging. I loved the family dynamic of the six of us when we were all together under one roof. I loved going home and having it be mom, dad, sisters and dog. It was home base.

Now my sisters and I are adults and we’re scattered about the country and our mom who was always home and our dog who was always by that fire or chasing that poor squirrel back and forth along the fence are gone. They were the ones, along with my dad, that were supposed to just always be there. And now they’re not.

So it goes.