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Reason #353:
I’m out on the lake right now with my cousins, and they are so tan that they are no longer technically caucasian. When I asked them what exactly was happening with their bodies, they told me that they are following the “Joanne Tanning Method”.
Apparently when my mom was a teenager, she would get the perfect tan by laying on strips of tin foil, covering herself in baby oil, wearing a neon bathing suit, and soaking her hair in lemon juice.
Terrifying.
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